I feel like having a partner and vvs is walking an extremely high, terribly thin tightrope. On one hand you want to provide for your partner in your relationship, sexually, emotionally, everyday functioning. However you shouldn’t compromise yourself to do this. If you are feeling particularly down you shouldn’t feel like you “need” to put your own needs aside to please your partner. Like giving blowjobs bc sex isn’t totally possible at the moment. But you don’t want to shut down from your partner 100%.
Unfortunately, just like everything else with vvs, there is no right answer. Every couple will have different issues/complexes surrounding their situation. Talk with your partner, how you feel, tell them about shutting down emotionally during this time. How do they feel about it? Tell them what would make you feel better. Ask them what would make them feel better. Tell them how they could help. (Even in little ways, like doing something with the kids so you can take a hot bath, or taking out the trash – little things like that add up.) Start small, baby steps are the key to making a relationship work with vvs. What is one thing you can do this week that will make one aspect a little better? And then continue the conversation. Update with each other on how it’s going, is it helping? What else would help? And continue baby stepping along.